I’ve heard it said that being a stay-at-home parent, you should have a routine, to maintain working discipline & ensure that everything gets done. I quite agree, so here’s mine:

  • 07:00 Make wife packed lunch & insert her coffee IV.
  • 07:30 Wave wife off, dig loafing 5 year olds out of warm beds & make breakfast.
  • 08:00 Send 5 YO’s upstairs to get dressed, while I scrape breakfast off of floor, make more packed lunches & have shower.
  • 08:20 Exit shower to writhing mass of children & school uniforms. Disentangle & kick down the stairs.
  • 08:45 Drag procrastinating children to school & deposit in playground, ensuring they can’t track me back to the house.
  • 09:05 Return to house, consider doing the washing, decide to have an hours blogging.
  • 11:45 Finish hours blogging & decide to have lunch. I’ve earned it. Put washing machine on, and nearly break sweat.
  • 13:30 Finish lunch and put second load in machine, first load in tumble dryer. Start Ironing.
  • 13:50 Had enough ironing, decide to fill up bird feeders instead.
  • 14:15 Time to collect boys from school. What wonderful things have my little angels learnt today? Can’t wait to see their cherubic faces again.
  • 14:30 Drag squalling demons home from school, pull hat over eyes to hide shame.
  • 14:45 Give demonic offspring another talk about behaviour. Put second load of washing in dryer.
  • 15:00 Realise wife is home in approx 80 minutes. Start ironing with both hands & eyes closed-no-one will notice.
  • 15:30 Throw something in oven (hope it’s not one of the kids) & stuff dishwasher – disadvantage of twins is that I hope another one didn’t go in there.
  • 16:15 Finish ironing, drag twin one out of dishwasher, drag something smoking out of oven. Dinner hopefully.
  • 16:30 Wife arrives ‘How was your day?’ she asks. ‘You know, kept busy, paced myself. You do need a routine you know…’
  • Evening: Can I go blogging again now?

Just don’t tell her…..

23 Responses to “You Need A Routine”
  1. Asara says:

    Stopped back by from Skittles this time, and almost died laughing. Well, maybe not -died-, but I did get quite a good chuckle! I will definitely be back again to read backwards and see what fun I have missed! Mind if I link to you?

  2. Chris says:

    It’s all true! Well, most of it.

    Please link away :-D

  3. Skittles says:

    She’s my daughter-in-law :)

    This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a LONG time!!!!!

  4. Mike says:

    An interesting routine lol.

  5. Mist 1 says:

    I am still trying to figure out the military time. This is the most math I’ve had to do since high school.

    Skittles sent me.

  6. LoL…at least it is a routine…

    Mine is slightly more pathetic than that….

  7. Debo Blue says:

    Skittles sent me-great post! Really!

  8. Chris says:

    Hello all, thanks for the nice comments. The worst of it is, most of it’s true.

    The dishwasher brings them up a treat, and their hair is all lemon-fresh afterwards.

    Sorry Mist1, results of working as an analyst for too many years, I’m stuck on 24hr time. Just minus 12 ;-)

  9. Mikala says:

    Skittles sent me!

    I always thought I wanted to be a SAHM, but from reading your “routine”, I think I’ve changed my mind. Thanks for helping me make a career choice!

    If you don’t mind, I’m going to link to you too. Link to me if you want (I’m not bullying you or anything.) :0)

  10. Chris says:

    Hi Mikala, you link away, I’m not going to stop you ;-)

    I’m sure I can find space for a link somewhere…

  11. udit says:

    oh! that was fantastic! i’ve never laughed so much and so long for a looooooong time! keep up the good work!

  12. Jessie says:

    Visiting by way of the carnival. This routinue made me laugh! I love the part about the dishwasher!!!

  13. Kiyotoe says:

    I don’t know why i just had visions of Michael Keaton in Mr. Mom, one of my favorite movies from when I was a kid.

    Cool/funny post, thanks for sharing Chris.

  14. Chris says:

    Hi carnival people. It’s all true, really…

  15. Great post!! : )

    Very funny…I’m sure it’s true. I have littles and I know how terrifying the mornings can be!

  16. Just dropped in via the Carnival. Great routine – you are so organized!!! I’m linking you and will be back to read more….hope you stop by to read my entry :)

  17. Chris says:

    Hi Heather, thanks for coming by. I’ve seen your blog before, but I’m on my way over now….

  18. Hey, just stopping by from the carnival…thanks a bunch for participating…I hope you will again in the future!

  19. Lisa K says:

    Came in from the Bestest Blog Carnival 1.2! Just had to say great post!!!

  20. webduck says:

    There is nothing like the smell of dishwashed 5 YO to brighten your day. :twisted: Your day is much like mine, only I have no small children, and I don’t iron. I should iron, but I don’t. Really must work on that! :cool:

  21. Chris says:

    Ironing is overrated ;-)

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Trackbacks
  1. Anonymous says:

    You Need A Routine…

    A not entirely serious, brief look at one day in the life of a stay-at-home dad with 5YO twins. Did one go in the dishwasher? And what is that smoking in the oven? Read on……

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