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More pinsharp observation on a Tee-shirt at BustedTees.com.

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Beadle’s No Longer About

We have a bunch of state sanctioned nannies in the UK called the Portman Group (who apparently have chosen a condom for a logo) who niche it is in life to censure companies for innappropriate marketing of alchohol to  people. Sounds very noble, although I find it debatable that people drink because an advert told them to, but leaving that aside, this particular story concerns the aforementioned Skull Splitter and how the ‘aggressive’ name and image of an ‘aggressive’ Viking (as the local MP pointed out, is there any other kind?) would drive hordes of children to start throwing the stuff down their neck and eating babies etc.

Now this beer is a real ale of 8.5%, is dark and rich and being a fan of this kind of beer, I can tell you that the one thing you cannot do with these drinks is suck down half a dozen bottles in one sitting. It’s the kind of beer that can only be sipped & enjoyed. This is of course unlike the drunk schoolkids favourite beverage which is either 90% sugar or is a fizzy lager which goes down like lemonade.

This is probably neither here nor there though. What I’d like to know is when did we cure cancer, halt wars and save the world to such an extent that the only ills threatening society were names of beers or characters on the labels? The name on the bottle isn’t a cause of teenage drinking, it’s poor or non-existent parenting coupled with an obsession on the part of the Police & Government to persecute motorists or people putting the out the trash, rather than pursue & punish real criminals.

Happily sense has prevailed in this case, but these people will go on chipping away at our inconsequential freedoms until beer is sold in a plain brown wrapper though it will be too dangerous to walk to the shop to buy some. It’s enough to drive you to drink.

Skull Splitter anyone?

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Free Spirit By Edward Wolf

Chavtastic….

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Christmas 2006 Style
Will Santa Bring Me Some PoweriZers?
Well, That’s It For Another Year…
Subtle Endorsement
5 Christmas Songs

Be touched by his noodly appendage.

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Breath is just a clock ticking.

Without Breath,

Love is just Necrophilia.

Seen at Pictures of Walls.

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Food For Thought

1.0 - Sweat bee: “Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.”

1.2 - Fire ant: “Sharp, sudden, mildly alarming. Like walking across a shag carpet and reaching for the light switch.”

1.8 - Bullhorn acacia ant: “A rare, piercing, elevated sort of pain. Someone has fired a staple into your cheek.”

Keep going all the way to the Bullet Ant for a world of pain you never knew existed.

I think he’s missed one though; how to describe that moment when you walk past a solid oiece of furniture in bare feet, only for your little toe to make a crunching connection with one corner……

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What A Man!
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Friday Feast…Alliteration Ahoy!

You won’t believe this, but trust me it really works!!!!!!

Simply forward this post to everyone in your email address book, and within minutes, literally nothing will happen!

Isn’t that incredible?

Just bug everyone you know with this piece of random crap and sheer nothing will be your eternal & blessed reward.

Oh, and while you’re at it, forward this three times and send it to your boss hard copy, and some non-existent corporation will donate 3 cents to some little sick girl dying of ebola-AIDS who’s also collecting birthday cards to get in the Guinness book of non-existent records.

But that’s not all! Attach anyone of an infinite number of internet memes/jokes/lolcatz to suddenly become the most popular person on the planet.

But remember! You must forward this to everyone you know, or you’ll instantly contract cat AIDS or something.

Inspired by, along with all the internet crap I get forwarded 18 times a day by people who think I give a shit.

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Is it usually stuff that they could find out by simply typing the question into a well known search engine?

Or do you have a reputation as  ‘computer guru’ and people are forever asking how you do things?

Yes? Then maybe you need the services of Let me Google that for you.

Here’s how it works: lets say someone asks you a question that your average mousemat could probably answer, and certainly a few seconds Googling would do the trick. Instead of the usual response that you give in order to get your exasperation across such as rolling your eyes, giving a link to the Google results or (heaven forbid) just giving them the answer, instead pop over to LMGTFY, type in the question that you’ve been asked and then click the button. You’ll then be given a link you should pass on to your pathetic petitioner - when they click on it they’ll be treated to a short animation explaining how Google actually works - like so:

Genius

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Wayback When

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