1. Take 2 slices of fresh white, or brown bread, approximately 1/2-3/4 inch thick.
  2. Toast until golden brown. If the toaster pops too early, discard. Too late (and ‘golden black’ is not an option Mother), discard.
  3. Quickly take one slice from the toaster, leaving the other slice in to keep warm. Cover evenly with butter. That means the middle too, Mother.
  4. Butter does not ‘evaporate’, that bit is still dry - add more butter.
  5. Remove other slice and place on buttered piece, so that the heat begins to melt the butter. Cover second slice with butter in accordance with ‘3′ and’4′.
  6. Swap slices over, so that residual heat in slice 1, melts butter on slice 2.
  7. If any butter is left un-melted, discard and start at ‘1′.

Is that so hard?

Anyone else with food foibles, or is it just me then?

3 Responses to “The Perfect Slice Of Toast”
  1. I was with you up ’til number 6. That’s just weird, man.

  2. ummmm… OCD much? :P Although I do admit to understanding how you feel about the butter. having a butter-free “frame” around the edges of the toast is also unacceptable

  3. No! No.6 is the essential step, without it the toast just stays too crunchy!

    Rav’N, I was scarred by upbringing:

    “This toast is dry in the middle”

    “No, it’s just melted….”

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