Thermal

From the ‘Have they really got nothing better to do?’ department, comes this story of Skull Splitter Ale from the Orkney Islands.

We have a bunch of state sanctioned nannies in the UK called the Portman Group (who apparently have chosen a condom for a logo) who niche it is in life to censure companies for innappropriate marketing of alchohol to  people. Sounds very noble, although I find it debatable that people drink because an advert told them to, but leaving that aside, this particular story concerns the aforementioned Skull Splitter and how the ‘aggressive’ name and image of an ‘aggressive’ Viking (as the local MP pointed out, is there any other kind?) would drive hordes of children to start throwing the stuff down their neck and eating babies etc.

Now this beer is a real ale of 8.5%, is dark and rich and being a fan of this kind of beer, I can tell you that the one thing you cannot do with these drinks is suck down half a dozen bottles in one sitting. It’s the kind of beer that can only be sipped & enjoyed. This is of course unlike the drunk schoolkids favourite beverage which is either 90% sugar or is a fizzy lager which goes down like lemonade.

This is probably neither here nor there though. What I’d like to know is when did we cure cancer, halt wars and save the world to such an extent that the only ills threatening society were names of beers or characters on the labels? The name on the bottle isn’t a cause of teenage drinking, it’s poor or non-existent parenting coupled with an obsession on the part of the Police & Government to persecute motorists or people putting the out the trash, rather than pursue & punish real criminals.

Happily sense has prevailed in this case, but these people will go on chipping away at our inconsequential freedoms until beer is sold in a plain brown wrapper though it will be too dangerous to walk to the shop to buy some. It’s enough to drive you to drink.

Skull Splitter anyone?