A colleague of my dad’s was stationed in Singapore at the end of WWII. After a night in the town, he’d met an attractive young local lady, and having engaged in an energetic session of tonsil tennis, decided to get a cab back to her place. During the ride home, he, uh, tried to take her temperature under her skirt, and got a bigger handful than he bargained for.

He exited the taxi without waiting for it to stop, and didn’t stop running until back to barracks….

One of my ex-partners — I have so many — represented a freckled young red-headed youth some years back. He’d diverted off the Dan Ryan Expressway on his way back to the North Side from the South Side St. Patrick’s Day Parade… he’d diverted in search of diversion, if you know what I mean.

And I know you do.

Two police officers happening by noticed him sitting up in his car — alone so far as they could see — but, with their experience, they knew this was probably not the case.

Indeed, upon inspection, it was noted that he did have a companion with him. Our young red-headed hero thought he’d found an exotic young woman to satisfy his lust.

Exotic? Maybe.

Willing to satisfy? Certainly.

Woman?

“Didn’t you notice the adam’s apple?” asked the arresting officer in tones varying between sympathy and incredulity….

Flunking the gender test is serious business indeed!