Thermal

Another genius idea for a website that is both hilarious and scary: Speak Your Branes.

The neatest way of summing up the site is contained within it’s URL: ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com

What they’ve done is simply trawl through the BBC’s Have Your Say site, where ‘ordinary people’ get to comment on the day’s stories and filter out the scariest, funniest and downright depressing examples of a modern Briton slavering over their keyboard in righteous indignation.

Then add a sarcastic comment on to it:

An old one I just found, on the death of Michael Crichton.

Why ask me for my reaction – I’ve no idea who he was.
Douglas Lee, London

I like to imagine Douglas in a permanent state of shock, leafing incredulously through rail timetables full of destinations he’s not intending to travel to and TV schedules full of programmes he doesn’t watch.

Lovely.

Or we have the delightful Ian Jempson apparently from ‘revolutionsville’:

Instead of a database containing our private movements , perhaps a more effective border police force , proper imigration checks coupled with really harsh hard punishments from the courts like hanging for planting bombs would stem the flood of crime ! Lets face it we are the dumping ground for the european criminals they are here all ready

Right. Hanging will deter suicide bombers will it? Which bits do we hang then, assuming we find any?

If you love internet stupidity, then Speak your Branes is the place for you. Just make sure you don’t get quoted on it……

Apparently it costs 9,000 of our English pounds to keep a teenager for a year – I’m sure the Curmudgeon can translate this into American as he has had/is having 4 kids through this larval stage and has been there, seen that and can no longer afford the T-shirt.

But why is this? David Mitchell has done some thinking on the subject and has  picked the pimple quite accurately thus:

But massive teenage spending has become the premise on which much of our economy, and popular culture, is based….. One of the fastest growing areas in our economy in the years leading up to the crunch was the selling of crap to twats. Why waste a fortune expensively marketing carefully designed products to the thrifty middle-aged with long-established spending patterns when you can make a quick million pushing ringtones and cheese strings to kids?

Exactly. Anyone who has endured commercial TV in the last few years will have felt distinctly untargeted if they’re over the age of 18 and things ain’t going to get any better.

Of course, in my day things were different and we used to make our own entertainment and [fades into senile ramblings about lost youth......]

Add Nurses, Counsellors, carers……. I used to wonder how politicians could sleep at night, then I realised they couldn’t care less. It’s a funny old world.

More from the incisive mind of Barry Deutsch at Ampersand.

Whether you like football or not, you should appreciate the skills of Remi Gaillard as he has an eye for goal wherever he is: Police Stations, McDonalds, the Eiffel Tower, or my particular favourite, the French speed trap van. The sight of that flat-footed cop chasing him down the street as he does cartwheels will live with me for a long time……

Chavtastic….

Without love,

Breath is just a clock ticking.

Without Breath,

Love is just Necrophilia.

Seen at Pictures of Walls.

It’s like they’ve been recording my life: Avoid getting your arm trapped under your better half when in bed from VideoJug:

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Are you reading Steph?

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